Whenever you meet any new people in your life your brain develops a picture of their personality within 90 seconds. You can think that the person you met is smart, intelligent, funny or he is dumb, irritating, serious it depends on their behaviour. Similarly, every person that knows you also have an impression of your personality in their brain. Now it's hard to change this in front of people who know you but you can impress new people.
If you impress anyone in 90 seconds then they might stay impressed with you for the whole time but the question arises what special you can do in that 90 seconds? I will help you in doing this by sharing important points from the book "how to make people like you in 90 seconds". I am sure that this post will be really helpful to you, so let's get started.
There are two main stages of communication whenever we meet any new people and those stages are:-
1) Meeting
2) Generating rapport
3) Communication
Meeting:-
Our first point meeting is very simple and short. This point tells that our outer look also matters much in case of impressing new people. Wearing good clothes can help you to make people talk to you but this doesn't mean that I am telling you to wear only branded costly clothes. Wearing good clothes mean wearing clean clothes so that you look decent.
Our goal is to impress others in our first look so that they feel nice about us. To do this we can also enhance our talking style and voice tone.
Establishing rapport:-
The positive feeling that you get when you are talking to a person and feel the unknown connection with them is called a rapport. You might have never noticed it but it always presents when we talk to other people. Rapports are of three types:-
1) Natural rapport
2) Rapport by chance
3) Rapport by design
Natural rapport
It is a type of rapport that comes naturally when you meet people who you like. Natural rapport is always present in good friends.
Rapport by chance
Imagine that you are alone on an island and no one is there to help you but suddenly you see another person in that same condition. Now by talking to him you will directly start to feel happy even also if are meeting him for the first time. This type of connection is called rapport by chance.
Rapport by design
When you change your behaviour a little bit in an order to make sure that other people get impressed by you. This connection is called rapport by design.
The upper two rapports are not much useful to us because we want to impress new people and to do that we cannot rely on situation. We will talk about three ways that will help you to develop your rapport with others.
1) Attitude
The attitude that is present in ourselves when we met other people is the most important thing to impress others. When we are excited do we have to think that what actions should we make or which facial expressions we have to give, obviously no because it comes from inside ourselves.
When we are angry or excited or happy our actions changes by our attitude present in us. Our voice tone and body language are directly related to our attitude. One should always keep a postitive attitude whatever the situation is. Our attitude should be supportive, curious and helpful.
2) Actions
There is an ancient saying that "actions speak louder than words". Our majority communication occurs with our actions. You can understand this in a way that when you mute a movie and watch it then also you will be able to understand the emotion of the characters with their action this shows the importance of our actions.
Now, body language is a very big topic it hard to learn completely but I can give you some simple body language tips. You should always remember one thing that your body language should be open and positive like keeping your hands folded during the talk is seen as a bad thing but having a good posture and standing straight is seen as good.
congruity
One more important thing on which our brain decide whether someone we like or not. You might have learned about congruent triangles in your school in which you have to tell whether two triangles are similar or not. Our human communication is also based on things like this.
When you talk to other people your subconscious mind gives attention to various things in other people like his words, body language, voice tone etc. If anything doesn't match with another thing then your brain starts to feel that this person is lying or feel uncomfortable with him.
If someone says "I like you" by standing in bad posture and with a sad facial expression would you believe him, no because his words don't match his actions and expressions means he is not congruent
It is very hard to fake congruity because it is made up of so many things that you can't lie about it. To practice Congruity, you can observe bad things in other people and avoid doing it.
3) Synchronizing.
Whenever we meet a new people whose personality is similar to us, we get attracted to him. You can make a small adjustment in your behaviour to show others that you are similar to them this is called Synchronizing. Now some of you might be thinking that am I telling you to become a fake but I am not telling you to change your personality completely, you have to make just small adjustments.
Synchronization is something like an adaptor by which you can make a connection with other people. You should copy others small actions but don't copy everything so that they will think that you are similar to them and it will help you to make a good connection with them.
Now our last point is communication which is a very huge topic which we will cover in another article so subscribe us to get notified with it.
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